Grow some girl-balls and come out already
You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
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