my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Randomize
