Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
Randomize
