So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
Randomize
