i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
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