uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
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