Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
I'm really busy with my period
Randomize
