And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
I want to jerk off but my dog won't leave me alone. It's the most depressing cock block ever.
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
Randomize
