I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
Randomize
