i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize
