he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
