i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
You left your underwear on the fireplace
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
he's single and there are thong briefs.
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
Randomize
