Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
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