So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
The beer is more important than you right now.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
Randomize
