out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
Hello my rib-scented angel!
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
Randomize
