I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
she pinky promised me she was 18
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
Randomize
