I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
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