capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
Randomize
