Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
operation have a gay friend backfired
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
Randomize
