Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize