I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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