i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
Randomize
