I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
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