Hey man sorry I got all grabby
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize