she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Randomize
