my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
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