So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
Randomize
