this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
Randomize
