i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
