I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
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