Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
You smell like stripper and shame
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
Randomize
