3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
Best friends brother. Beat that.
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Randomize
