Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
