And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
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