it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Randomize
