have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
a search helicopter?!
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
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