She went from zero to smokin in five shots
Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
Randomize
