sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
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