We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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