so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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