zippers are such a cool invention
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
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