I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
Randomize
