okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
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