what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Randomize
