RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize
