Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
Well I just put wine in my tea
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
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