Don't you send me to vm
i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
Randomize
