I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize
