my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
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