need another drink. this is the easiest way
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
Randomize
