I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
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