Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
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