for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
they're like a gay fantastic four
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
Randomize
