is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
Theres a note on my antibiotics that says "Do not chew or crush. Swallow whole." I think that would be a good tattoo for just above my penis.
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
a search helicopter?!
ttyl tear gas
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
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