Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
I party with great urgency now.
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
Randomize