You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
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