You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
Randomize
